I'll Remember
by SpobyOTP
Summary: Season 6 AU. With Damon and Bonnie presumed dead forever, Elena struggles to understand what life means without the love of her life and best friend with her. As days and weeks drag into months, how will she cope? Meanwhile, Damon and Bonnie must figure out a way to survive in their strange new world without getting on one another's last nerves.
1. Chapter 1

_Day One_

_(Morning)_

Pain was a tricky emotion for vampires to deal with: the powerful influx of agony and grief was something that vampires felt in differing spurts of severity. On the one hand, the pain could burn at a dull minimum, while at other times, the pain could be so ferocious that it felt as if there would never be a reprieve from its unforgiving clutches.

The handy switch that allowed a vampire to turn off his or her emotions, was the one savings grace that many of them depended on for when the going got tough. Plenty of them over the ensuing centuries had fallen prey to the temptation to turn off the unwanted desire to feel any and all curve balls that destiny threw at them. Sometimes it worked, repressing the urge to feel every single heightened emotion that their supernaturally enhanced forms threw at them, and sometimes all it succeeded in doing was creating more of a problem later for when they finally found it with themselves to turn it back on.

Only once had Elena Gilbert been driven to turn off her humanity switch during her short time as a vampire: when her baby brother had been killed by her sadistic doppelganger, Katherine, the tidal wave of grief that had assaulted her mind, was one that she had simply been too weak to overcome, and so had been instructed to turn the switch off by her mental connection to her boyfriend, Damon Salvatore, using the sire bond that had been created between them once his blood had been proven to have turned her

Now, all those months later, Elena wished that she had that option again; she wished that she could find it within herself to find that part of her brain that connected to her emotions so she could fully turn the switch off like was so tempting to do now.

It had been twelve hours since she had been informed that her boyfriend, Damon, had failed to return from the Other Side, which had been on the brink of destroying itself and had taken him (along with several other important friends and family) with it, and Bonnie, her best friend who had been the doomed anchor, serving as a bridge for the souls that were passing from that side of the earth to the supernatural purgatory that was their new home.

Elena had felt plenty of grief in both her eighteen years as a human and her short year as a vampire, but this was something else entirely. The grief that was assaulting her mind was like a sledgehammer in its brutality as it careened her fragile mind with images of the last time she and Damon had been together, and the horrifying moment when the worst possible thing had happened and he had been killed.

In all her years of losing people that mattered to her and she loved, somehow it never crossed her mind that she should need to worry about losing Damon. After all, he had always managed to escape death before, sometimes within an inch of his life, but had always, always come out on the safe side somehow.

Not this time.

Drawing in a shuddering breath, she wrapped the patchwork quilt tighter around her body, as though preserving as much warmth as possible would keep what was left of her heart from completely shattering like it was sorely tempted to do.

Instead of the warmth that she always felt like she basked in, now she felt nothing but an icy chill tremble its way down her curved spine as she laid in a fetal position on the rickety bed that had been her childhood one at the lake house that she was now residing in with her friends and family.

Leaving the cemetery where he had vanished the night before, had felt like sealing the deal for her, as though she was admitting to herself that he was really gone and there was nothing she could do to bring back either he _or _Bonnie from the fate they had been handed.

There was always a way; that was the hope that she had relied upon during the sketchy few hours that Damon had been missing and she had worried desperately over him, and that was what she was trying to rely on now as she tried to contemplate an existence, a meaningless eternity without the man she loved by her side.

The subject of a future with anyone, certainly someone she loved, had always been a touchy subject, with her not wanting to commit to anything that did not have the potential of lasting, but for her and her dreams of a future with Damon, there was no inkling of a doubt in her mind that all along he had been the one to share that with her, and now he was gone, the world that loved to torment and punish her for some reason, was rearing its cruel head once again.

She missed him: she missed the rare occasions when it was just the two of them and they would have the entire Salvatore mansion to themselves. She missed the way his voice would lower to an almost imperceptible murmur when speaking to her, how gentle and kind he was on most occasions unless there was something wrong that was bothering him.

She missed a lot about the man she had visions of spending an eternity with, but she also missed her best friend, Bonnie. The two had been friends since the first grade ever since Elena defended her against some bully who had unfairly targeted her. Ever since then, the two had become fast friends, along with Caroline.

Heaving in a deep sigh, she wrapped her arm around the middle of her stomach, as though she was subconsciously trying to keep the pain from coming after her once again. It was not fun to be in the position of having to lose the love of your life, and though she thought she had gone through the worst when her parents died, she knew that pain was only preparing her for one of the worst kinds she would ever be unfortunate enough to experience.

A quiet knock on the door alerted her to fact that she had visitors. Rearranging her position so her face was at least visible to the company, she kept herself wrapped in her cocoon as she raised her head slightly to present a face to the person they would want to see.

"C—come in," she called, coughing a little due to the fact she had not used her voice in the last several hours. Her throat was parched, signaling to her that she needed some blood to satiate the cravings that would soon begin to accompany the more than human sensation, but she ignored it for the time being as the door swung open to admit the people on the other side.

Stefan walked in, his shoulders bowed in complete grief and defeat; following closely behind him, was Caroline as she carefully balanced a tray of food and what looked like the familiar logo of the hospital seal on a blood bag.

Not able to control it when her eyes zeroed in on the much needed sustenance, she swallowed back convulsively as she forced herself to look into the eyes of the people that were doing all of this for her. Even though Caroline had never agreed with, or supported her relationship with Damon, she still could not help but be touched by the show of love and solidarity that her friend was presenting her with.

"What's all this?" Elena asked, as she sat up straighter in bed so she wouldn't spill the food on her mother's sheets.

"This is a little something to lift your spirits and hopefully regain that Elena Gilbert optimism," Caroline announced. "I brought all of your favorites, and some blood from the fridge."

"Thank you," Elena said sincerely. "This means a lot."

"How are you doing?" Stefan asked, laying his hand on top of her covered knee.

"How do you think?" Elena asked simply. "We lost Damon, we lost Bonnie, and it's all because the spell that was supposed to bring them all back, stopped."

That was one reason why all of this was so unbelievable to her. She could not believe that a witch they had relied upon to make sure the spell was a success, failed them, either because of her own choice in the matter, or through the actions of her brother.

"I know," Stefan said, his voice tight. "Caroline and I have been up all night trying to figure out a way to...reverse what happened."

"How?"

It would go a long way in erasing much of the grief she was currently in, but the realistic side of Elena's brain that reminded her that the Other Side had destroyed itself, was trying its hardest to push to the forefront of her brain.

"We don't know yet," Stefan admitted, "but we're trying to contact Liv and Luke and see if they know anything that might be of help to us."

Elena shook her head, pushing the tray of food away as she got up to walk across the dust-soaked hardwood flooring. It would not help to contact them if they were the entire reason Damon had failed to come back to her.

What good would they be to anyone if they were the ones who had given up and stopped the spell from reaching its conclusion.

"What good are they?" she asked, spinning around to face her stunned ex-boyfriend and best friend. "I mean let's face it, we all know they were the ones who stopped the spell in the first place."

"We know," Caroline said quietly, as she bit down on her thumb, her unconscious way of showing she was beginning to grow nervous about something, in this case Elena's unpredictable attitude. "But they are the only witches that we know of right now."

Elena shook her head as she got out some clothes from the meager bag she had been able to pack when they had all been forced to flee from Mystic Falls when the Travelers had enacted their spell to rid the town of spirit magic.

"The Other Side is gone," Elena said, as a few tears managed to slip from beneath the determined facade she had so far managed to put up. "The witches had control over that part of the world, but we don't know anything about any other world they may be in."

"We can try, Elena," Caroline reminded her. "You want that, right?"

"I just can't keep doing this," Elena said, shaking her head in complete shock at the loss of life that had become so prevalent in her life lately. "I can't keep losing people I love. My mom and Dad, Jenna and John, and now D-Damon and Bonnie."

"Elena, I know," Stefan said, as he tried to place a comforting hand on her shoulder, but was almost instantly rebuked by her as she sank down onto the bed in complete devastation. All of the emotions she had bravely repressed the night before, were all coming to her now in spurts she wasn't sure she was ready to face yet.

"I can't believe he's gone," Elena cried. "It hurts, Stefan. I didn't know something could hurt this hard, but it does. It hurts me so much."

"I'm so sorry," Stefan said, turning his head away from her briefly to wipe away some of his own tears that managed to escape. "I'm so sorry if I ever tried to keep him from you or get in the way of what was happening with you two. I didn't...I didn't understand the love you had for each other. I do now."

That was the most Stefan had ever had said in support of her relationship with his brother. Even though Stefan had never become an obstacle in their relationship, she had never known his exact feelings on the matter, and now that she did, she was glad that he was supportive, glad that he recognized the complete love and devotion she and Damon had for each other.

"Th—thank you," Elena choked out.

"Listen," Stefan said. "We _are _going to find a way to bring them back. I don't care if we have to follow leads to the ends of the earth, if we have to do it, so be it."

"There's always a way," Caroline echoed. "A loophole that no one thought to consider before. That's the beauty of magic, Elena."

"I know."

If there was one thing that remained true to her was that the wonder of magic had endless possibilities to her. It could be something as simple as figuring out how to turn a a blossom into something beautiful, or it could be something like making feathers float, but Elena knew that magic always served an important purpose and that could be the one thing that would wind up being the solution to their grief and mourning now.

* * *

The first thing he felt was a headache; the ones that reminded Damon of some of the worst hangovers he had ever been unfortunate enough to experience. Once the pain subsided enough to allow him to open his eyes, he did so slowly. He knew enough to know that wherever he was, it wasn't where he had anticipated going.

At first glance, all he could see was an endless amount of murky, gray sky. It reminded Damon a little of home but without the perks that came with that indescribable word. Sitting up slowly, he groaned as he brought a hand to his face to inspect the large gash that had been left in place from the force of being transported to wherever he was now.

Looking at the bright red blood that splattered on his hand, he was momentarily taken aback by the sight of it, and the fact that he had failed to heal from the cut that had been made in the first place. Squinting his eyes at the unfamiliar sights in front of him, he was struck by how blurry his vision was compared to the vampire caliber he had reveled in thus far, and the fact that his hearing, which had always been sharper than a cat's, was now operating at a boringly human level.

Standing up, he was surprised to feel how sore his joints and muscles were from the journey they had taken as he flexed them uncertainly.

"What the hell is happening?" He wondered, more to himself than to anyone eavesdropping on the private conversation he was having with himself.

"Damon?"

Swiveling around to face Bonnie, he was not sure whether to feel relief that he wasn't alone in this strange world they had been plopped in, or confused that instead of being destroyed like he had braced himself for, they had been thrust into something else entirely.

"Bonnie," he said, panting as he ran over to where she stood. "What the hell is this place?"

"I—I don't know."

"You don't _know_?" he demanded incredulously. "You're saying that instead of being sucked into oblivion like everyone else, we're taking a _detour_ somewhere?"

"I _don't know_," she repeated frostily. "I have never heard of something like this happening before. I don't know, I don't control this."

"Well, that's just _perfect_. Is there a way out of this? A way to get back home?"

Not that he thought he would ever be so lucky as to hitch an express ride back home, but now that the option was clearly there again, he was becoming more and more anxious by the second to figure out that impossible way.

"I don't even know where we _are_, Damon. How am I supposed to figure out a way to get us home when I don't know what place we're even in!"

"Another thing," Damon said, as he leaned against an unsteady tree that looked like it was a second away from collapsing. "I think whatever brought us here, took something too."

"What are you talking about?"

Wordlessly, Damon gestured to the gash on his forehead that was still dripping blood down his face. It was a strange sensation to experience the sights and smells and feelings of being human when he had not had to experience that in over a century since being turned by Katherine. It was terrifying now, especially when he knew that his defenses were down against whoever wanted to hurt him, and it was scary to imagine something having that kind of power over him.

Bonnie's reaction would have been comical had the situation not been so dire to him. It was confusing to leave the earth one way, and then blip back into existence another way altogether. In his nearly century as a vampire, there had been plenty of times he had fantasized about being human again, but that desire was gone now.

"Is that—is that _blood_?" Bonnie demanded, stating the obvious as she stepped foreword to inspect the all-too-human appearance on his face.

"Either that or it's ketchup," Damon remarked snidely, not in the mood to debate whether or not what he was feeling was real or not.

"But how?"

"No clue."

"But you died a-"

"Just another way that the universe is laughing their asses off at me."

* * *

**A/N: Damon being human is just going off on one of the more popular theories that he will indeed come back human. The title is in obvious reference to the premiere episode which will have the same name. I hope you enjoy. **

**And if you are so inclined, review/favorite?**

**Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Day One _

_(Afternoon)_

The loose-fitting sweatpants Elena had somehow found the strength to pull on the night she and her group came to the lake house, were starting to cause rub sores on her delicate skin. Vampires were not immune to normal human conditions, the only difference being that they immediately healed from the damage unlike a regular person would.

Changing her position for the first time in hours, she was unfortunate enough to land on the side that presented her with a framed portrait of a night spent in complete and total bliss with Jeremy and Damon before the summer of her dreams was over and it was back to the depressing reality that there were forces beyond her control that were actively advocating against her relationship.

It was a game of Scrabble of all things. It was during a stormy afternoon and they were all chomping at the bit to do something remotely entertaining or risk climbing the walls out of sheer annoyance and aggravation.

_**Flashback**_

"_Just play the word, Jeremy," Elena moaned, casting a sideways glance over at Damon, knowing how short his patience normally was as he waited for the youngest Gilbert to play a correlating word to attempt to overthrow the impressive score he had already managed to get._

"_Elena, chill, this requires steady concentration," Jeremy corrected her as he bit down on his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to find something that would put him in the lead after more than an hour of losing miserably to Damon and Elena. _

"_What requires absolutely _zero _concentration is taking one of these pieces," Damon said, as he picked a wooden piece up in demonstration, "and tossing it into your face." _

"_Damon," Elena chided gently. "Jer, come on," she urged, as she looped her arm through Damon's and leaned her head against his shoulder. _

_It had been a long day of playing hide and seek with the rain as she attempted to get some last minute shopping done before the real downpour began. Then she had to worry about making sure that Jeremy had all of his school records in place for when he began his final year in the fall. _

_Then the storm started and Jeremy had failed to return from a prearranged outing with some friends from Denver. By the time he managed to walk back in, she was beside herself with relief, and Damon was about ready to chew his head off for worrying her so desperately. _

"_Fine," Jeremy said, relenting with a sigh as he placed a word down. _

"_Grouch?" Damon asked, raising his eyebrows in barely concealed amusement. _

"_It fits you," Jeremy reminded him, "and it's the only word that would land on the triple letter score." _

"_Figures," Damon said, leaning in close to whisper in Elena's ear, "that the one turn he gets in half a century, and he ends up railroading past me."_

"_Be nice," Elena whispered back, giggling as quietly as she could when Damon nibbled on her ear. "You've had the lead for the past hour."_

"_Reformed serial killers do not take lightly to losing," Damon reminded her. _

"_Well, you'll be the first one to show them the right way to take it." _

"_I guess so." _

"_Are you guys getting hungry?" Jeremy asked, figuring the game was over now that he had finally managed to obtain a decent score. _

"_Yeah," Elena said, standing up, still keeping her arm entwined with Damon's. "We got some frozen pizza and some rolls in the fridge, Jer." _

"_Anything else?"_

"_Soda." _

"_And the feeling of knowing your sister braved the elements to get those carbs for you," Damon reminded him, flashing him a smile that Elena knew was a precursor to trouble if Jeremy didn't back down. _

"_Yeah, whatever," Jeremy grumbled, clearly resisting the urge to argue back with him when he knew that he would easily lose the fight._

"_Thank you for defending me," Elena remarked, as they watched Jeremy disappear around the corner and into the kitchen._

"_Yeah, well, the kid had it coming."_

"_I suppose. I love you," Elena said with a quiet sigh._

"_I love you."_

_**End of Flashback**_

It was hard to think back on those times, on the summer of her dreams and know that the memories were all she had of Damon and that time together. For those few months, it was nothing but sheer bliss that was punctuated by the occasional bursts of drama, but nothing that none of them were not already used to.

Closing her eyes in concentration as she tried to will the tears from her subconscious, she tried not to think about where he might be, she tried not to imagine where Damon and Bonnie were and if they had found peace in whatever world they had gone to after the destruction of the Other Side.

Giving up when a few tears of moisture slipped past her guarded eyelids, she curled herself back up into a ball as her tired frame shook with sobs. It was not fair they had managed to finally reach a place in their relationship where they were both certain where they belonged, and then he had to die. It was not fair that the universe liked to throw these issues at them, liked to make it as hard as possible for them to be together.

"_I know...I know."_

Those were the last words they had consciously said to the other right before their car slammed into the Grill. In that instant, all Elena could remember feeling was the deepest sense of urgency to inform him that she loved him, that she was willing to get into yet another car accident to prove her undying devotion to this man.

Little did she know that her efforts were not needed: he knew her love for him. If her words had not convinced him, than her small nod of affirmation afterword should have swayed him.

"I love you," Elena whispered to the stillness of the empty room, but mostly in the hopes that Damon would be watching, that he would be able to hear her somehow, wherever he was, and know that she loved him, and would know that he was missed and mourned.

_I love you, too._

She didn't hear the words physically, she knew that was impossible now, but in the whispers of the wind that flew in through the open window, she imagined for just a second that it really had been him and not a figment of her traumatized brain.

* * *

Each and every muscle hurt, as though it was torturing him for all the years he had it easy and had been able to live out his days as an immortal being. Aches that he forgot, suddenly came rushing back to the surface as Damon attempted to keep up with the harried pace that Bonnie was putting him on.

So far all they had been able to tell about their surroundings was that it was dense. A thick forest surrounded them, but was even stranger was that they were able to pick up signals from the world they had left behind, letting him know in more ways than one that they were not truly gone from sight just yet.

The first whisper had come during the night. When he looked up at this improvised version of the sky, he could see visions of the ones he loved. It was nothing concrete, mostly flashes that went away as quickly as they appeared, but it was enough to make him long to be back with them with an intensity that surprised him, as he tried to figure out the answer to the impossible question: where they were.

There was no witch guidebook on where one went when they did not fade into oblivion like they were supposed to. Now instead of that, he was being forced to watch flashes of his loved ones in sporadic times. There was no rhyme or reason for when the images of Elena and Stefan and even Ric, would come.

Sometimes they came in the deep stillness of the night when he was lying on his back on the hard earth, or it could be when he and Bonnie were walking around their new surroundings, trying to figure out a way to escape.

"What are you doing?"

Shifting his focus away from the sky, he looked over as Bonnie made her way back over to him from her supplies-finding mission. In the wilderness they had been thrust into, finding essentials to survive was one important thing they realized they could not live without.

"Looking at the sky," Damon remarked easily, as he switched to a standing position. "What did you find?" he asked, looking at the collection of exotic fruits that Bonnie had managed to procure.

"Not much," Bonnie answered, as she dumped the stash at his feet. "This place is low on...everything that we need to survive."

"Where did you find the fruit?" Damon asked, as he picked up a mango and weighed it in his hand.

"Over in those trees," Bonnie replied, gesturing vaguely in the direction she meant. "There's a large waterhole past the trees, but I couldn't find anything to carry some back with me."

"You couldn't magic a water trough up?" Damon teased. "Oh wait, I forgot, you got stripped of your mojo. So I guess this place takes some things away, but doesn't change others."

"Yeah," Bonnie said quietly. "If you want to go back with me, we can get a quick drink of the water."

"Yeah, okay."

It beat sitting around waiting for the sky to open up with a new vision of how his loved ones were suffering in his absence. He had never paid much attention to the impact his presence had on people, but after watching Elena completely break down in front of him when he visited her as a ghost, he was beginning to have some kind of a clue.

"Why were you looking at the sky?" Bonnie asked, after a few minutes of walking.

"What?"

"The sky," Bonnie prompted. "You said you were..._looking _at it. Why?"

"I...I saw some...things," Damon replied.

He had no idea what the visions meant; or if they were even real at all. For all he knew, they could just as easily be something real as it could be something his imagination was drawing up because he missed his family so much.

"What _things_?" Bonnie ventured.

"Elena, mostly. I could see her laying down on the bed in the lakehouse. She...she misses me a _lot_," Damon mused, bowing his head to keep his shaky emotions at bay. "She and Stefan were talking, and she was crying."

"Do you think it's real?" Bonnie asked.

"How am I supposed to know? Aren't you supposed to be the one who has all the knowledge of this freaky stuff?"

"Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean that I am all knowing or have any idea what the hell any of this means," Bonnie snapped. "So what you're saying is-"

"If you lay down and look up, chances are you'll see something. It's happened to me three or four times already."

"Do you...hear anything?" Bonnie asked, as she paused in her pace to look at Damon.

"I hear her cry. I hear her tell me she loves me. I say it back but who knows if she can actually hear it or feel it anymore."

"Look, something happened," Bonnie rationalized as she picked up her pace again. "Whatever happened, we obviously did not fade into some kind of no-existence. We're somewhere where we can still see our friends and family, or at least you can."

"So what's your point?" Damon asked, arching an eyebrow in confusion as they finally reached the waterhole.

"We're not dead like we thought. Maybe we can still come back from this somehow. Maybe if you have some connection to Elena, or at the very least, our world, maybe you can communicate with her somehow, let her know that we are not gone."

"I can try. No promises, though. It's not like I'm suddenly an expert at communing with my girlfriend from wherever we are."

"Just _try._"

"Gee thanks, Bonnie, for the unneeded newsflash."

* * *

In a lot of ways, the last twelve or so hours seemed like nothing but a nightmare to Stefan. The only thing that kept him firmly rooted in reality was the searing pain in his chest that reminded him that his brother was gone, Bonnie was gone, and so was the Other Side and all possible ways to get them back.

Not that that fact stopped him.

Immediately he and Caroline had set out on an all-night fact-finding mission to get whatever answers they could on what they were up against. It had not been easy, and the research they had managed to get from the mythology department at Duke, had returned little to no results that would have been helpful to them.

Walking out into the living room of the lake house, he was greeted by the sight of Ric as he indulged in what looked like his second or third drink judging from the way that almost half the bottle of Bourbon was gone.

"Hey," Stefan said, announcing his presence as he tried to put on a light and conversational tone to the conversation.

"Hey," Ric said, setting aside his drink. "What's up?"

"Not much," Stefan said, as he walked around to sit down beside his former history teacher. "Bourbon?" he asked, directing his gaze to the to the near-empty glass.

"Yeah. I almost forgot how good this stuff was," Ric mused as he swished the last dregs of the drink around the bottom of the glass.

"It's amazing how those little things can mean so much later," Stefan agreed, clasping his hands in front of him.

"So how are you?" Ric asked. "Last night I was trying to be in two places at once and I finally stretched myself too thin."

"Well, last night, Caroline and I drove over to Duke to see if we could break into Isobel's old office. They still have it up. So far, we haven't been able to find anything."

"What do you mean _so far_?" Ric asked.

"We brought some home," Stefan explained, as he slammed the thick, heavy tomes on the coffee table. "So far no good."

"I guess that can only be expected. Have you been able to find anyone?"

"No."

It had not been for lack of trying. Before the research trip to Duke, Stefan and Caroline had tried to track down Liv and her brother Luke, but had not had any success. Either they purposefully did not want to be found, or they had done something to conceal themselves.

"I can't believe they're both gone," Ric said, shaking his head in complete astonishment.

The last thing he expected when he got back, was to be thrust headlong into a state of mourning from the people around him. He missed Damon, he missed his best friend, and truth be told, he needed someone to guide him along the shaky process of learning how to be a vampire who would not end up snapping and killing people impulsively like his alter ego was prone to do.

"Yeah. I can't either. At first I thought it was just a crazy dream, but then I woke up and it was still the same scenario."

Never once had Stefan actually considered what life would be like without his older brother there to guide him. Even if there had been times when Stefan had entertained thoughts of killing Damon for one of the many wrong things he had done over the century, he never went through with it because the idea of spending forever without him, was incomprehensible to him.

"How's Elena doing? I thought about going in there when I woke up, but then I heard her sleeping."

"She's a mess," Stefan stated bluntly. "Caroline and I went in there early this morning to bring her some food and talk, but she wasn't up for it."

"That's understandable."

"The thing is," Stefan said. "I could have said all the right things in there, but at the end of the day, it's not me she really wants."

"What about Liv and Luke?" Ric asked, leaning foreword. "Have you found them yet?"

"When Caroline and I were out, we tried to track them down. Either they're someplace where we can't find them, or they went back to Whitmore."

"You need to keep trying."

"Hell yes," Stefan agreed.

"It will be okay-"

Stefan would have gone on longer in his dialogue, but was cut off by the blood-curdling scream that came from Elena's bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Flashback**_

_The day had been as long as it had been tiring. Elena had spent the better part of the day registering Jeremy for classes for the fall school start-up and had only just gotten home to make dinner for him, before admitting her natural exhaustion as both a human and a vampire had started to take its toll on her both mentally and physically. _

_The favorite part of her day was when she could travel up the huge staircase in the Salvatore mansion and walk around the corner and down the immense hallway and into the bedroom she was fortunate enough to share with Damon. It was a personal highlight of her day when she could strip off her day clothes and into something more comfortable, and climb into bed and a pair of warm and inviting arms that would shield her from the stress and trials of the day, and be her guardian during the nighttime hours._

_Smiling in spite of her tiredness, she walked with a little more bounce in her step at the thought of being received by something so wonderful and loving as she peeked shyly around the corner. Damon was already in bed, propped up one elbow as he looked at her with her favorite crooked smile, before shifting to a position that would be ready to take her in his arms._

"_Evening, sunshine."_

"_Hey," Elena replied, not able to keep the smile off her face as she took off her day clothes to replace it with a loose-fitting tank top and a pair of coordinating pajama bottoms. Usually the use of clothing during the night, would prove to be a waste of energy, but she liked to at least keep the appearance of something else as she allowed herself to sit down on the bouncy mattress, before letting out a yelp of surprise when Damon wound an arm around her waist to pull her against him._

"_How was your day?" Damon asked, as he pulled her against him, before nuzzling his nose against hers._

"_It was good," Elena said with a smile, not able to keep it off her face when he was acting the way he was._

_It was such a marked contrast to the Damon that he presented to the world during the day, and the Damon that she knew during the night, when it was just the two of them and he let his guard down around her, something she loved because it showed the amount of trust and love he had in her._

_Even though she had been confused about her feelings for him and how they related to her past relationship with Stefan, she looked back and wondered how she could have ever resisted him for as long as she had. It was something she mentally kicked herself for now, but was not willing to dwell on any longer than she absolutely had to._

"_What's that smile?" He asked, tickling his finger along her jawline. _

"_What smile?" She teased, knowing exactly what he was talking about, but willing to play dumb for a minute in order to keep up their playful banter with one another._

_Even though they hardly fought anymore, she still liked it when they were able to revel in each other's company instead of getting distracted by the obstacles and challenges in their relationship._

"_That smile," he said, teasing her before allowing his lips to bless hers with a kiss that left a chill down her spine and left her only wanting more. "That gorgeous smile of yours."_

"_Well, you happen to be very capable of making a woman happy, Mr. Salvatore," Elena replied back. _

"_I'm glad. How was Jeremy?"_

"_He's good. He's still fighting me about going back to school," Elena said, a frown crossing across her face as she adjusted her pillows. _

"_Ugh. Of _course_ he is. In a way, you can't really blame him." Damon said, after a moment of silent contemplation. "The kid died, Elena, now he's going to be looked at as the freak that not only faked his own death, but burned his house down."_

"_You're right," Elena said, turning on her side to face him. "Do you think I made a mistake telling the school he would be back? Do you think we should wait awhile?"_

_In her haste in making sure Jeremy resumed as normal a life as possible, she had completely neglected to consider the psychological ramifications of going back and facing the scrutiny he would undoubtedly face. _

"_Hmm, I like the "we" in this statement. It's very confident," Damon remarked. _

"_Well, that's because there _is _a we_," Elena corrected him. _"You have been very instrumental in making sure that Jeremy adjusts to being alive again. I've seen you guys playing video games and joking, and that's what he needs right now, Damon."_

_It had not escaped her notice that ever since Jeremy had been able to come back, Damon had taken him under his wing and had distracted him from any of his problems by making jokes and even indulging in his favorite pastime of playing video games._

"_I just figured the punk needed someone to show him the ropes, and who better to do it than his sister's new boyfriend?"_

"_Thank you."_

"_No problem."_

"_Where were you guys yesterday?"_

_For a couple of hours, Damon and Jeremy had all but disappeared from the radar and had only come back when the sun was just about to set and Elena was practically chewing her nails off in worry._

"_I took your baby brother out for a beer-"_

"_Damon-" Elena started to protest, her maternal instincts kicking in before she could stop herself. _

"_And then we went and threw the football around."_

"_Did you?" Elena asked, her earlier frustration gone. "Thank you."_

"_Well, like you said, Jer needs someone to look up to and someone who has his annoying back."_

"_Really," Elena said, "thank you for doing all of that with him. I'm sorry I momentarily freaked out about the drink."_

"_You want to know a secret?" Damon whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead as she positioned her head on her favorite pillow: his chest._

"_What's that?"_

"_It was a root beer."_

_**End of Flashback**_

Elena could count on one hand the number of times she woke up screaming. The first and only few times that happened, it was right after her parent's car accident when her brain subjected her to HD replays of the horrific event.

Now was no different as she curled her fingers around her pillow, her body shuddering with the screams and sobs she was expelling out. It was during the summer of her dreams when she and Damon had that talk. At the time, she naturally assumed she would have a million 'summer of her dreams' but that had been the only one she had been fortunate enough to have.

As her lungs forced out the screams that were becoming weaker and weaker as her body naturally exhausted itself, she vaguely heard the door open in the distance, and a pair of heavy footsteps fall across the dust-soaked hardwood floor as they hurried to reach her.

"Elena," Stefan said, as he finally reached her. "It's me. It's Stefan. You were having a nightmare."

"No," Elena said, drawing in a deep breath as best she could. "No I wasn't."

That was the problem: her dream had been nothing but a replay of the amazing summer she had reveled in, and now that it was over and he was dead, the dreams she used to love visiting during the night, were now becoming nothing but nightmares that were on level with some of her previous worsts.

"Talk to me, Elena," Ric said, as the mattress sagged a little under his weight when he sat down next to her. "What was it?"

"It was during the summer Damon and I h—had," Elena recalled, hiccuping slightly.

"Was it good?" Stefan asked.

"Yes."

"Elena, I know that it does not seem like we'll figure this out, but we _will_," Ric assured her. "We really will."

"How?" Elena whimpered.

"I'm getting closer to tracking down Liv and Luke," Stefan explained. "Once we find them and figure out what they know and if they can help us, we'll be that much closer to figuring out this whole entire nightmare."

"In the meantime," Ric said, putting a gentle but firm edge to his tone. "You need to get out of these clothes and you need to come out and brainstorm with us."

"I don't really-"

"Elena, come on," Ric urged. "It will do you more good than you could possibly know."

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

The makeshift bed of leaves and twigs had done little to ease the aching in Damon's joints and bones as he twisted and turned into a better position, hoping that he would somehow find it within him to sleep, even though his heart was racing far too much for him to calm down enough to obtain that state.

Sighing softly, he looked up at the clear black sky, and was not altogether surprised to see the same montage of moving images flash across the stillness. It often came in spurts of unrelated importance, but the images that he paid attention to were the ones that showed his loved ones in varying states of distress and upset over his and Bonnie's deaths.

He and Bonnie had been stuck in the place they had gone to after the collapse of the Other Side, for the past day or so at least. On top of pondering the mystery of why they had not been sucked into oblivion like everyone else, he now had to deal with the crushing realization that he was, most likely, human on top of everything else.

"Elena," he whispered, the name feeling like a prayer on his lips as he watched her follow the group out into the main living room of the lake house to look over ideas on how best to bring them back.

He wished he could tell her he was alright; he wished he could tell her that her crying and mourning was for naught because, in reality, he and Bonnie were fine.

"_How can we find Liv and Luke when they don't _want _to be found?" _Elena was asking Ric and Stefan as she paced slowly in front of the custom-made coffee table, pausing every few seconds to glance over at Stefan and the former history teacher.

"Elena," Damon whispered. "I'm okay. Bonnie and I are both fine."

Not that he seriously entertained the idea of Elena being able to hear or sense him where she was, but he wanted to at least try if he could enjoy seeing her and having some kind of psychic connection to her.

"_There are ways we can find them," _Stefan reasoned, sitting hunched over in the chair he was in.

"_But how?" _Elena asked, and Damon could hear the crack in her voice that signified to him that she was either close to the breaking point, or that her voice had simply lost all of its original weight in light of recent events.

"_Caroline was planning on making a trip over to Whitmore with Alaric. In the meantime, there are still places they could be taking refuge around here."_

"Of course they would be playing hide-and-seek," Damon mumbled to himself. "Warlock supreme was the one who messed up the spell."

It did not escape his attention that if they had never crossed paths with Liv and her brother Luke, they would most likely not be in the same position they were in now, with having to desperately figure out a way to reverse the wrongs that had been committed against them.

"_What if they won't help us?" _Elena asked, voicing the unspoken concern that was clear on everyone's minds.

"_They _have _to," Ric _assured her. _"They don't have much of a choice."_

"_I know but-"_

"Are you seeing something else?" Bonnie asked, breaking the vision that had been playing across the sky.

"I _was,_" Damon remarked pointedly. "What have you been doing? Eavesdropping?"

Bonnie ignored him, except for the offended look that momentarily flashed across her face. "No, actually. I found a way to bring water back."

The only waterhole they had managed to find, had been a long ways from the place they had set up temporary quarters in. Sitting up with difficulty due to the fact his muscles and joints were giving him hell, Damon looked at the small makeshift wooden cup Bonnie had managed to either find or make.

"Let me guess," Damon said, as he accepted the small holder. "You were in the top ranks in girl scouts?"

"When I was little, my Dad would take me in the woods for wilderness survival 101," Bonnie explained, accepting the cup when Damon passed it back over to her for her turn. "And then when Grams started grilling it into my head that I was a witch, she took me out to the woods to teach me stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Spells, mostly, but also how to avoid danger the right way."

"So how did you find the cup?" Damon asked.

"The wood was already shaped into something that could hold water."

"I'm disappointed," Damon remarked sarcastically. "No witchy mojo?"

"Not this time. Did you see anything else?"

Damon nodded. "They're trying to find Liv and Luke and get them to help."

"Do they think they can?"

"That's what they are counting on."

"In the meantime, our supplies are going down."

That was the problem with being stuck in an alternate universe other than the one that they were supposed to end up in: the supplies they relied on to sustain them, would eventually run out unless they could forage more food for themselves.

"What about the fruit up in the trees?" Damon asked, recalling the numerous times Bonnie had been able to forage for food up in the trees.

"It's either spoiled or gone."

"What about the water?"

"It's still there."

"Have you seen any animals?" Damon asked.

"I've heard them," Bonnie confirmed. "I just haven't seen them."

"So maybe you should adopt a Jane of the Jungle attitude and see if you can get them."

"Maybe _you_," Bonnie shot back. "Should fashion a spear out of something around here and go catch something."

"I don't do Tarzan."

"Well I guess you'll go hungry then," Bonnie said with an exaggerated shrug.

"I'll find something."

* * *

Curling herself up on the antique rocking chair that had been a staple of the lake house since before her birth, Elena watched calmly as Stefan, Caroline and Ric brainstormed ideas as to how best to locate Liv and Luke. It was not easy to find two powerful witches who clearly had no intentions of reaching out and helping them.

Sighing softly, Elena looked up when Jeremy and Matt entered the room. They had gone back to Mystic Falls the night of the tragedy in order to make sure that everyone they knew and loved there, was safe.

It was a distraction from the grief of losing Damon and Bonnie, and even though Elena would have much rather them been there with her and the rest of their people, she could hardly blame them for wanting to escape the realization of what they had lost.

"Jeremy," Elena said, standing up to envelop her younger brother in a tight a hug as she could manage. "Are you okay?"

Jeremy nodded against her shoulder. "Yeah. I'm doing okay, Elena. How are you?" He asked more seriously.

"Not too good," Elena admitted with a shaky laugh. "How are you? Is everything okay back home?"

"Yeah," Matt said. "Caroline's mom is okay."

"She is?" Caroline asked, perking up the second she knew her mother was alive and okay.

"Yeah," Jeremy said. "She was at the hospital when we last checked, but all it is is observation."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem."

Elena was glad—at least the night had managed to turn out something relatively alright. At least Caroline still had her mother, and the town still had its sheriff to watch over matters.

"So the Other Side is completely gone?" Matt asked slowly, as though that realization had just gotten through his system.

"Yeah," Stefan said. "The witches had control over that part of the world, but without it, there isn't a lot anyone can do. We're still looking for Liv and Luke, though. We're hoping there's something they or their coven can do."

"We found them," Jeremy said.

"You _did_?" Elena demanded, trading looks with the other people in the room.

"Where?" Ric asked, already standing up.

"Outside of Mystic Falls. They're staying at some run-down apartment building. She just texted me."

"Let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

"Why can't I go?"

"Because right now you're in a very emotionally compromised state, and I don't think seeing the two people who were responsible for all this, will be beneficial right now."

Following Jeremy's announcement that Liv had made contact with him, the plan had been set in motion to go to the downtown apartment building where she was staying, and get some much needed answers from her, and hopefully a way to bring back Damon and Bonnie.

One thing that Stefan and the others agreed on, was that Elena was in no position to entertain the idea of making a trip like that when the entire reason Damon was dead, was because of the twins' negligence in failing to make sure the spell stayed up long enough.

"I know," Elena conceded, looking at Stefan as he prepared to get his coat on for the long ride ahead. "But this is about _Damon. _I can't _not_ go when we might be able to bring him back!"

It was inconceivable to her that they would honestly expect her to sit this out when they could have their answer in the palm of their hands. She understood what they were feeling and the need to protect her from further emotional harm, but she also could not believe that she would be forced to sit at home while waiting for news.

It had been two days since their tragedy happened, and even though the idea of a cure-all solution was the one savings grace she held onto to prevent herself from further slipping, the idea had never really crossed her mind that something could go wrong once they found the witches, but apparently that idea had been all but certain in Stefan's and the others minds.

"I know," Stefan said gently, "but we'll fill you in once we get back. In the meantime, Ric is going to stay with you while we're gone."

"I don't need a babysitter."

"No, but you need someone to make sure that you're doing alright," Ric said.

"This is ridiculous," Elena muttered, more to herself than to the others in the room.

"It may sound like that," Matt put in, "but this is for your own good at the end of the day."

"That's right," Jeremy said. "Liv knows me better. There's a chance she might be more willing to give out information than if the person she hurt the most, is standing in the same room as she and her brother."

Elena could not argue the logic in that, and also could not ignore the feeling that if she were to see Liv or Luke, she would not be able to restraint herself from lashing out at them just out of response to the sheer amount of grief that was currently assaulting her body.

It was not easy to admit defeat and let them walk out the door, but as they did and as she watched them get into their respective seats in the car, she hoped that when they got back from their fact-finding mission it would either be with Damon and Bonnie in tow, or a way to bring them back definitely.

Sighing softly, she turned away from the window to go over to the fridge in the kitchen that she knew contained blood bags for her ready consumption. One thing she realized about her grieving, was that it only amplified her natural cravings that were now a part of her life.

Ripping open the top of the bag, she poured it into a coffee mug, (a trick Damon had taught her), and placed the mug in the microwave to warm it up a little, before taking it back out and eagerly downing the entirety of it.

"Hungry?" Ric asked, peeking around the corner of the wall.

"Yeah," Elena said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "It's weird because this pain and grief that I feel, is actually making me more hungry."

She and Damon had had many discussions about the affects of vampirism and how it changed certain aspects of oneself both emotionally and physically, but one thing he had either neglected to mention or had not experienced himself, was the effect it had on someone when they were going through a loss.

"It's your body's way of responding to everything that has happened," Ric reasoned.

"Yeah. I know."

"Listen, I know you're scared of what they may find out, but Stefan and the others will get the information they need."

"But what if they _can't _help us?"

The thought had crossed her mind more than once that even _if _they managed to find the twins, they would not be able to help them either because of their connection to their coven, or because there was simply no conceivable way to achieve it.

"There's a million other routes that we have yet to find. If one door closes, another one will open, Elena."

"I know. How are _you _doing?"

In the immediate grief that had all but consumed her life, Elena had completely neglected to find out how Alaric was doing with the feeling of not only being back on earth, but adjusting to living life as a supercharged Original vampire.

"Oh, you know, being back as a vampire is one thing I never thought would happen. It's okay, though."

"Good. No impulsive urges to kill us?" Elena asked, only half-joking.

"Not yet. I guess I hit a home-run on that front," Ric said.

"Yeah, I guess so. Maybe that part of you disappeared when you-"

"When I died. I think so."

"Let's hope."

* * *

The formidable downtown area of the apartment building Liv and her brother were crashing at, was the kind of place that would attract a mob of gangsters and drug addicts without anyone noticing the difference because of its sheer size and because of the different distractions that routinely happened. It was the kind of place that was perfect for staying under the radar, and that was exactly why Jeremy knew Liv had chosen that exact place to run to after the tragedy of the night before.

It was not easy to separate his personal feelings of protection toward her, and the more urgent feelings of betrayal he felt toward her for what happened to Bonnie, even though he knew that had not been anyone's fault but the universe for dictating she had to go along with the Other Side.

"You doing okay back there?" Stefan asked, breaking Jeremy from his thoughts as they neared the building.

"Yeah, yeah I'm doing okay."

"Thinking about Bonnie?" Matt asked.

"It's kind of hard _not_ to."

"Yeah, I get it."

Matt, out of everyone, knew the emotional ramifications of losing someone important. His sister Vicky had been turned into a vampire before being staked by Stefan after she almost killed Elena. His mother and father were no-shows in his life, and aside from the wealth of friends he surrounded himself with, he was alone in all senses of the word.

"Is this the right place?" Stefan asked.

"Yeah," Jeremy said, nodding in affirmation as he watched Stefan pull into the underground parking garage of an impressive six-story luxury apartment building. It was definitely one of the nicest places in the downtown area, and one that would require more than just money to get into.

"Alright," Stefan said. "The plan is just to talk, and if we can, get information that would bring them back."

"I know," Jeremy said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "What if they can't help us, though?"

"We'll—we'll cross that when we come to it."

It had entered his mind more than once that there might not be anything the twins could do for them, but he refused to allow that thought to take center stage in his brain until he knew for absolute certain that was the case.

Walking in through the automatic doors, they were greeted with a calm and peaceful sitting area and a hallway to their right that clearly led to the set of elevators and first-floor buildings. Taking the hallway at a brisk pace, Jeremy sighed deeply as he scanned the numbered doors that would hopefully lead to the one he knew they were staying in.

"This is the one," Jeremy said, stopping at a door that was stationed directly at the end of the hall.

Pausing momentarily to collect his fragmented thoughts, he leaned foreword and knocked on the door, hoping to at least put on the air of diplomacy before anything else happened. On the other side, he could hear a whispered conversation, and a rush of footsteps before the door opened to reveal Liv and a slightly haggard Luke.

"Jeremy, what are you doing here?" she asked, peeking behind him at the two other people accompanying him. "And Stefan and the bartender. Great."

"We need to talk," Stefan spoke up. "Can we come in?"

An apartment building was mostly a passable gateway for vampires, but he at least wanted to remain respectful if only in the hopes they would be more inclined to offer their services.

"Sure. Come on in," Liv said, before turning away from the group as she walked in and sat down on the sofa that was littered with newspaper clippings and a few odds and ends that signified to Stefan like she was attempting a spell of some kind.

"What's all that for?" he asked, gesturing to the mess of items.

"Trying to forget everything that happened the other night. I haven't had too much success."

"That's actually what we came to talk to you about," Jeremy said. "What happened back there?"

"Nothing," Liv said. "Except my interfering brother stopped the spell at the last second. I told him I was okay, that I promised you I would finish it."

"Why did he stop it?" Stefan asked.

"Because maybe I was sick of seeing my sister almost die for you people," Luke interjected, appearing in the room as he came to stand protectively at his sister's side. "And maybe because I didn't want to see her die."

"That may be so," Matt said, shaking his head incredulously. "And I can certainly understand the need to protect your sister, but Damon _died_ because of you."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Luke said. "But it doesn't change that my sister would have died if she had gone on a second longer."

"Shut up," Liv hissed, clearly not at all happy that Luke was taking on the role of an overprotective parent with her.

"I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

"The question _we _have," Stefan said, "is what _you _can do to fix this."

"What do you mean?" Liv asked.

"Is there a way to bring them back," Jeremy clarified. "A spell or some way of even finding them?"

"No," Luke said. "There isn't."

"_Luke,_" Liv whispered fiercely.

"I'm sorry, but no."

"What do you mean 'no'?" Stefan asked.

"I mean there is no way to bring them back."

"You got to be kidding," Stefan said, shaking his head, squeezing the bridge between his nose and forehead.

"The only parts of the world we had control over," Liv said, avoiding their gaze. "Was the Other Side. If that was still up and running, great, but it isn't anymore."

"There's _nothing_ you can do?" Jeremy prodded.

"Not if we wanted to keep our coven from killing us," Luke explained. "I'm sorry about your brother and Bonnie, but there is simply no way to do this. We don't even know where they are, if they are anywhere that can even be reached."

"Can you try _anything?_" Stefan pressed. "A tracking spell, a locator spell?"

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do," Liv said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry."

That word barely registered in Stefan's frazzled mind as he took a breath to steady himself against some of the more powerful feelings that was currently traveling throughout his body. It could not be plausible that not only were they refusing to help, but also claiming there was nothing that could be done.

"Liv," Jeremy said, stepping foreword. "This isn't a game. This has to do with two people who deserve to be here."

"I understand," Liv said, meeting his steady gaze. "But I still can't help you. I literally _cannot._"

* * *

The afternoon had been as tiring as it had been long for Elena. The amount of blood bags she had consumed that afternoon, had done little to get her mind off the pressing issue that Stefan and the others had failed to return from their interrogation of Liv and Luke.

It was not far from Elena's mind that they were two of the only people in a position to help them and make a difference, despite the wrongs they had done that night in the crypt. Walking out into the living room, she was struck to see Stefan and the others already back, her mind running a thousand miles an hour, she chalked up her inability to hear them come back, from the maze of thoughts that had assaulted her brain.

"Stefan," Elena said. "Did you find them? Are they going to help us?"

After all, it was impossible to face the very real reality that they could not. It was impossible to admit that even the witches had limits to what they could and could not do.

"Elena, uh," Stefan began. "We _did _find them, but-"

"But _what_, Stefan?" Elena demanded, already feeling the familiar twinges of dread that signaled to her that something was very wrong, and she was not at all prepared to handle that.

"There's...there's nothing they can do to help us." Even to Elena, who's entire mind was now spinning with barely concealed horror and heartbreak, she could still detect the amount of shock and numbness in Stefan's statement.

"No..." Elena whispered. "No, you're—you're lying."

"I'm not. They don't have a connection to that part of the world, wherever Damon and Bonnie went to."

"Yeah, but there's spells-"

"We'll keep trying."

"Keep trying" was not as good as actually getting an answer that would mean they were one step closer to getting Damon and Bonnie back. "Keep trying" was an admittance of defeat and the hope of obtaining greater results once the time was upon them again.

"I can't-"

There was so much she wanted to say, so much she was feeling in that devastating moment, but her body was too numb to properly express them. Inside, she could feel her entire heart breaking like jagged edges as she brought a hand up to her mouth.

"Elena-" Jeremy started to say, taking a step closer to her.

"No!"

Turning in the opposite direction, she ran down the hall and into her room. Slamming the door, she ran over to her bed, grabbed the nearest pillow she could get her hands on and screamed into it. Each and every scream was akin to expelling all of the negativity, all of the mourning, and it was also her body reacting to the horrible shock that there was no foreseeable hope to bringing them back.

Once her body had rid itself of its screaming violence, she took a deep breath, her eyes falling on the last picture she wanted to see, and that was a picture of she and Damon in this very house, in this very room even.

Picking up the framed photograph with trembling fingers, she gritted her teeth and threw it as hard as she dared against the opposite wall. The sound of the glass around the picture shattering, did little to frighten her as her body started shaking with sobs.

"No!" She yelled, pounding her fists against the wall as hard as she could. "No! No! No!"

Once she had succeeded in making a hole in the wall she punched, Elena collapsed on her knees to the floor. Her heart-wrenching sobs were physically exhausting, but trying to turn off all of that emotion was futile because of how deeply ingrained her mourning was.

_I'm still here...Elena..._

She heard his voice when she least expected it. Sometimes it was during the night when she was unable to sleep, sometimes it was during the day when she chose to stay barricaded in her room, and sometimes like this, she heard it as clear as day.

"No, you're not," Elena sobbed. "Not anymore."

_I'm alive, baby._


	5. Chapter 5

It was all slamming into her with the force and precision of a sledgehammer. Elena had not ever experienced a level of grief of this caliber before. The pain was unlike anything she had ever had the displeasure of going through before, and it hurt.

She supposed it had been foolish to pin all of her hopes on the witches helping them when they had been the ones to put them in the position they were in now. If it had not been for Luke stopping his sister from completing the spell, Damon would be alive and she would not be in this magnitude of pain that she was currently in.

Ever since Stefan and the others had come back to inform her of the witch's answer, she had purposefully barricaded herself in her bedroom. It was the only safe haven she had from the others, when the threat of her pain was enough to push her over the edge and she needed a moment (or a few hours) alone to breathe and air out her monumental problems.

Looking over at the far corner wall, she flinched when she saw the fist-size holes that she had made in the immediate aftermath of her grief and Stefan telling her there was nothing they could do to find Damon again.

Biting down on her lip, she got up from the comfortable bed and walked over to the now ruined wall and ran her hand down the length of it. Every inch of the lake house, like her former home, was filled to the brim with memories of her family and the fun times they spent there together.

Even the wall had something to remember it by: when she and Jeremy were children, barely old enough to even remember anything except the immediate present, they had made a pact to record their names and a line or two of memories on that wall.

Elena smiled instinctively when she glimpsed her own flawed, childlike handwriting near the bottom of it. It was a captured moment, a memory that had long since been forgotten in light of everything her life had become in recent years, but running her hand along the rough wooden wall, she felt the tiniest sliver of nostalgia as she recalled those once precious moments.

She had new memories—ones that she would both give anything to forget—and ones that she was holding onto as best she could. Turning away from the wall, her hand searched her pocket for her phone.

It was also filled with memories, but more recent ones. Taking a deep breath, knowing that the move was risky, she ran her finger along the touch screen, stopping at the picture folded labeled "pictures of us."

It had been created during the summer, when every moment was a Kodak one for her. Closing her eyes momentarily to keep the tears at bay, she scrolled through the photos of them either laughing and playing games with Jeremy, or more intimate ones when it was just she and Damon either taking pictures together, or separately.

The urge to delete the pictures was tempting, especially since she knew she would never get the chance to make new ones again, and the very real feeling she got whenever she saw his face in a captured moment, but she didn't.

She knew that those pictures were a part of who she was now, and the idea of deleting any part of something that made her life great, was not an option, regardless of how comforting it might be momentarily.

"Elena?"

Turning her head briefly to face the person who had interrupted her private musings, she was greeted by the sight of Stefan and Ric as they invited themselves into the room. Elena knew they had heard her breakdown after being informed of what Liv and Luke had said, and though they made no comment now, Elena knew it was on their minds as they each took a seat on the edges of the rickety bed.

"Hey," Elena said, finally feeling brave enough to turn and face them.

"How are you?" Stefan asked.

"How am I?" Elena asked, shaking her head. "Not great."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Stefan," Elena said, rushing to assure that part of him that she knew longed to blame himself for the series of events that had unfolded.

"I know that but I was so sure that Liv and Luke would be able to help us, and now? Now we're right back to where we started with all of this."

Elena nodded, sucking in a deep breath to prevent herself from further slipping off the edge. "What else can we do?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out," Ric explained. "But for the moment, there isn't a foreseeable way to bring them back."

"I know."

"So," Stefan said, clasping his hands in front of him. "What we thought, what Ric and I were discussing, was the idea of having a memorial or something similar for Damon and Bonnie."

A memorial had not been something Elena had considered in her haze of grief. It was such a final word and action to consider. It was admittance of the fact they had failed in bringing back their friends, and were now planning for what life would be like after they were gone.

She did not answer for several seconds as she tried to shove aside the part that instantly wanted to deny something like that, and the part of her that knew they all needed something to say goodbye to those they had lost.

"What—what kind of memorial?" Elena found herself asking, wanting to know what the game plan was in case she actually ended up going through with something of the sort.

"Something private," Stefan said, looking over at Ric for his reaction, and was rewarded with a nod of confirmation. "Something that is specific for only those who knew them best."

Elena nodded thoughtfully, trying to imagine doing something of that nature. It comforted her to know that it would only be something small, something that would only be contained to those people who knew Damon and Bonnie, and while she knew that the last thing she felt like doing was pulling her thoughts together for a memorial, it was something she knew she needed to do in order to properly say goodbye.

"Okay."

"We thought about doing it in the woods around this house," Ric supplied. "It would give us the privacy we need."

"I—I like that."

"Okay," Stefan said. "I'll talk to Jeremy and he can orchestrate what we need."

"Thank you."

* * *

The hours and days blurred together until they fused together into practically nothing. The days were spent trying to navigate the strange and often confusing world they found themselves in, and the night was spent trying to figure out how to conceal themselves so potential prey did not find them.

Unlike his vampire counterpart that had often reveled in the joy of the hunt and kill that had made up a large part of his life, Damon now found himself avoiding all aspects of that part of his nature to the best of his ability, even though he found himself having no other option than to find and kill venison in order to survive, along with Bonnie.

The strange wilderness he and Bonnie had become trapped in, had slowly started to change, to evolve to something that would be considered familiar had it not been for the parts of the world that made it so unlike anything they had ever seen before.

The one constant that remained true was the sky that was his window to the world he had been forced to leave. He knew they were planning a memorial for he and Bonnie, all hope of a successful recovery gone with the witches words.

Sighing, Damon rolled over onto his side and then to a standing position as he stood to inspect the plane he and Bonnie had now been dropped into. Over time, the wilderness had changed to reflect something of a town that he knew was familiar, but was also something that he could not quite place.

It was as if he had been dropped into an alternate universe of a world he had once belonged in, and was now just a hopeless traveler passing through until he reached whatever further dimension he was supposed to reach.

It was inconvenient, but it was also confusing to him.

"What's wrong?" Bonnie asked.

"Trying to figure out our existential crisis."

"You mean how once we were-"

"Yes, Bonnie," Damon interjected dryly. "How we were once in the wilderness of whatever the hell it was supposed to be, and now we're in some western hillbilly town."

"But doesn't it seem familiar to you?" Bonnie pressed.

"What do you mean?"

"This...place," Bonnie continued calmly. "Doesn't it seem like we've been here before?"

"Yes, Bonnie," Damon said sarcastically. "Because I always remember a town shaded in blue and gray before."

"If we're going to figure out a way out of this mess, we have to work together."

"With _you_?" Damon demanded incredulously. "Listen, witchy, I don't know what you were planning on when you grabbed my hand, but-"

"I was thinking that you didn't have to die alone! That _I_ didn't have to die alone."

"And now we're stuck in a plane that keeps whipping our asses."

"That isn't my fault," Bonnie reminded him, as she bent down to inspect a piece of bread that had been left outside a now vacant shop. "Eat it. Your body needs it now."

"No. What it _needs _is blood. This is just a temporary setback until I get back home and Elena can turn me again."

"You still need it for the time being."

Shaking his head in irritation at what he was being forced to endure, he bit into the stale bread as he looked up at the sky that was his way of seeing how Elena was doing, what his family and friends were doing to bring them back, and now the funeral they were planning.

It was the ultimate sign they had given up hope.

Damon could not blame them for their hopelessness, not after they had been told that there was no way to bring them back, but it still stung a part of his heart that he was not aware even existed, or had forgotten existed in his centuries as a vampire.

"What's wrong?" Bonnie asked.

That seemed to be the word of choice she used for him whenever she saw him in a petulant mood, or when she saw him gazing up into the sky like she knew he was prone to do whenever he caught a glimpse of Elena or the others.

"They've given up."

He had kept that knowledge to himself until he knew he absolutely could not anymore. It wasn't so much he was trying to protect Bonnie from that horrifying truth, it was the simple knowledge that they would have to figure out how to save themselves.

"What do you mean they've 'given up'?"

"I mean they threw in the shovel."

"W—why?" Bonnie asked, her voice coming out in a half-whisper, half-cry.

"Because blondie and her brother are dicks."

"They—they can't help Stefan and the others?"

Damon shook his head, trying to chew through the hardiness of the bread before eventually giving up and throwing it into the gutter. "Nope."

"So what are they doing?"

"Planning a memorial for us, complete with sob stories and bouquets of flowers that will probably wilt and dry off in a few months."

"And Elena?" Bonnie asked pointedly. "Do you think she'll go away in a few months? Or even years?"

Damon didn't answer; it was his worst fear that Elena would find it within herself to move on in life and find a way to move on from the pain his death had caused her. He wouldn't have blamed her if she had chosen that course for herself. It was everything he wanted, for her to be happy, but he also could not deny the hurt and regret it would cause him.

"I hope she does."

"How can you say that-"

"Because I want her to find peace," Damon interrupted. "I don't want her mourning over a grave the rest of her life."

Elena had lost enough people in her life without adding one more to that list.

"But we're still alive, Damon. We're still here."

"And what good does that do?"

* * *

It had not been easy to sit back and watch as his friends, and especially his sister, suffered for the events of the night that had taken Bonnie and Damon from them. Immediately following the tragedy, Jeremy had retreated to Mystic Falls, along with Matt, to make sure the rest of their friends were safe.

Now that they were, and now that they had been shot down in their only chance to get back Damon and Bonnie, Jeremy tried to rationalize it all in his mind and failed. He knew that being the anchor to the Other Side had consequences, but he had no idea how dire those "consequences" were, despite knowing how tough the witches could be on Bonnie, especially from past mistakes she made.

Looking down into the dregs of his remaining drink, the youngest Gilbert sighed deeply as he ran a hand over his face. It seemed the only solitude he could find those days, was in the bottom of a bottle (or beer can, whichever one was closest).

"Hey."

"Hey back," Jeremy replied, as he looked over briefly at Matt, even though his vision was slightly blurred by the effects of the alcohol he had chosen to indulge himself with.

"Are you drunk?" Matt deadpanned.

"What makes you say that, dick?"

"I know the appearance," Matt replied, reaching foreword to grab the glass. "And the smell."

"I just needed something to take the edge off."

"Yeah, I get it, man."

"Do you know Stefan and the others are planning a memorial for Damon and Bonnie?"

"No, I didn't. When is it?"

"Tomorrow."

"Where?"

"At the lake house. Stefan asked me to organize it."

"Let me guess," Matt said. "That's the last thing you feel like doing right now."

"It doesn't seem real. I heard what Liv and Luke said, but it still hasn't registered in my mind that they're both gone."

"I know what you're saying. I keep hoping that it will all turn into something like a dream, but it doesn't," Matt said, shaking his head.

"So what now?"

"Now we plan for this memorial."


End file.
